No Hello - Please don't say just hello in chat

Please don't say just hello in chat

Imagine calling someone on the phone, going "hello!" then putting them on hold... 🤦‍♀️

❌ Don't do this

Keith 2:15 PM
hi

Tim 2:19 PM
...?

Keith 2:20 PM
what time was that thing again?

Tim 2:20 PM
oh - 3:30 mate

Note that Keith could have got his answer minutes sooner, and needn't have kept Tim waiting. In fact, Tim could have started thinking about the question right away!

The Problem with "Hello and Wait"

People who do this are generally trying to be polite by not jumping right into the request, like one would in person or on the phone - and that's great! But chat is neither of those things.

Here's why this approach backfires:

• Typing is slower than talking - You're making the other person wait while you formulate your question
• Lost productivity - The recipient sits there wondering what you need
• Breaks async flow - You're treating async communication like a synchronous phone call
• Creates unnecessary tension - People worry about what urgent thing you might need

Common Variations (All Equally Problematic)

The same issue applies to:

• "Hello, are you around?"
• "Hi Sophie - quick question."
• "You got a sec?"
• "yt?" (you there?)
• "ping"

Just ask the question! 😫

✅ Instead try this

Dawn 2:15 PM
Hiya! What time was that thing?

Tim 2:15 PM
hey, 3:30

Dawn 2:15 PM
Ta - seeya then!

Tim 2:16 PM
👌 np

How to Be Polite AND Efficient

If you feel it's too brusque to simply ask the question, you can still include pleasantries:

• "Hey man, what's up? Also, any idea when that thing's due?"
• "Hi there! Hope you're well. I'm after the latest deck, when you get a sec :)"
• "Hey, if you're not busy, could you update those NFRs?"

The Async Advantage

Asking your question upfront allows for true asynchronous communication. If the other party is away and you leave before they return, they can still answer your question instead of just staring at a "Hello" and wondering what they missed.

Real-World Example

I've seen this countless times in work Slack channels:

Colleague A 9:00 AM
Good morning!

[waits 30 minutes]

Colleague B 9:30 AM
Morning! How's it going?

Colleague A 9:31 AM
Good! Quick question about the deployment...

This could have been:

Colleague A 9:00 AM
Good morning! Quick question about the deployment - are we still on track for 2 PM today?

Colleague B 9:30 AM
Morning! Yes, all systems go for 2 PM 👍

When Done Right - Everyone's Happy! 🎉

• Faster responses - People can answer immediately when they see your message
• Better context - Recipients know what they're dealing with upfront
• Respects time - No one sits around wondering what you need
• True async - Works even when people are in different time zones

A Gentle Reminder

This is kinda only half serious (kinda 👀) so please don't get mad at the person who sent you here. But if you see someone's status mentioning this, be prepared to be ignored if you only say "Hello!"

Remember: Chat is not a phone call. Embrace the async nature of these tools, and everyone will be more productive and less frustrated.

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